Sunday, April 12, 2009

No Hate Mail Please


I read this and thought it was pretty dang honest and eye-opening, along with being hilarious. I don't know who wrote it and I don't care. I know several of you will want to disagree with my sarcastic point of view, but please contain yourselves and refrain from sending me hate mail. It won't do you any good. This is my forum of expression. Go get you're own.

Top 10 Reasons why Gay Marriage is Wrong

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject things that are unnatural such as eyeglasses, polyester, and air-conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the doors to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage is allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears 55 hour, just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't get married because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, just as straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on an entire country. That's why we only have one religion in America.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children alone.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

3 comments:

haley said...

These are all very good points. So obvious that it's funny!

Anonymous said...

You are Awsome!!!!!

Summer said...

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage is allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears 55 hour, just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

This is exactly what I say to people when they use that one as an excuse. Like straight people haven't made a joke of marriage yet?